Hey Jesse Neo!
I broke up with my ex two months ago but he says he misses me and wants to be with me every time I talk to him on the computer. But the thing is, he has a girlfriend who is three years younger than him. I asked him if he liked me or her, and he told me he likes us both but I told him he could stay with her. Then he's all like, "don't say that".
A couple of weeks ago he told me the same thing, but after he signed off, he came back on and sent a message saying that he would never get back with me and that I was a bitch, and if I had a problem I should go fight his girlfriend. He knows I don't like to fight, and I figured it was his girlfriend that wrote it.
I just don't get why she gets so jealous of me just by talking to him. I don't flirt or anything. At school when me, him and my sister talks, she'll come out and stare at us like we did something bad. All I need to know is if I have to stop talking to him to prevent this to happen again because I don't like the dramas. Please help!
Signed,
-Adriana
Dear Adriana,
Girl's getting jealous of other girls (and even boys) is a really common but serious issue. The main cause of this is the thought of competition. The reason why she hates you is not because you flirts with your ex, but because she wants to compete and be better than you.
Adriana, I know you're a sweet timid little girl and scared of drama, but the only way to help fix this problem is for you to cope and face the problem. You may be thinking to not talking to your ex at all is the only way to deal with it, but from my own experience giving someone the silent treatment isn't the best way to untangle problems. The reason why your ex or his girlfriend thinks your silent may be different to the reason why you are actually being silent. This can lead to more problems and misunderstanding such as your ex boyfriend thinking you hate him, and then he coming over to you and making his girlfriend more jealous and having more trouble heading your way.
This may sound difficult and maybe crazy, but my advice is for you to be friends with your ex's girlfriend. Instead of avoiding her, actually get to know her! Talk to her during lunch and maybe the next time she stares at you, smile sweetly at her and invite her to your conversation. This may take some time but the result would be outstanding! Giving her presents and inviting her to special events are also some good suggestion! Just basically show her that you care and want to be her friend! As times passes, she'll finally find no point in competing with you because you are now both on the same side, and maybe someday you'll be best friends!
A tip is when topics about your ex comes up in convos, tell her about how much her boyfriends mean to her and prove to her that you do not want him back, but you want she and your ex to have a wonderful relationship together!
If you would want more advice or hope to stay in contact with me, feel free to add me on MySpace and/or Facebook and/or Twitter! Just hit me up a message or comment anytime! I promise to reply to them all!
Best regards,
-Jesse Neo
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