GIRLFRIEND DON'T WANT INTIMACY

Hey Jesse Neo!

My girlfriend says she doesn't want to kiss me but still wants me to come visit! I've had a few relationships before; two being long lasting, so I've always thought I knew what I was doing.

Last year I went abroad and fell for this girl which I've been with since. We spent about one month together and had loads of contact throughout the past 14 months that we've been apart. Now I'm finally going back to see her which we're both really excited about, yet she says she doesn't want any intimacy and I don't know why.

In the month, we were together but didn't do that much but we were still moderately intimated - it was just part of the relationship. And even over the phone and internet we've had a few... ahem...fantasies lol!

I don't know if she's teasing me or if she's serious. I'm just really happy to be seeing her again but there's no denying these things are in a relationship and it's not as if we're both strangers. This is really starting to get under my skin. Please help!

Signed,
  -Lostvalentine

Dear Lostvalentine,

Intimacy is not love. You cannot substitute intimacy with love. Love is love itself, and intimacy is only one part of love.

Wanting intimacy is a big stage in life, it is a feeling you have never felt before and for a girl (and even boys), they take this really seriously and don't just want to have it all for the sake of having it. They may be waiting for the right moment or just don't think they are ready. This is fine and very normal.

Being in love doesn't mean you need to have any sort of intimacy. Being in love means you are willing to commit your life to them, to support them and love them unconditionally. This means even if your girlfriend don't want to do something, and will still accept her for that. So don't go overboard with what you think having a girlfriend is all about, there is more to it than you think!

If you would want more advice or hope to stay in contact with me, feel free to add me on MySpace and/or Facebook and/or Twitter! Just hit me up a message or comment anytime! I promise to reply to them all!

Best regards,
  -Jesse Neo

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